The Secret to Living an Extraordinary Life

What does it mean to you to live an extraordinary life? It’s the perfect season to make your list. What is it you hope for in your one precious life? What is most important to you? What delights you?


Things are not as they seem in this world. Even though it is easy to feel inundated by people, problems, and our massive to-do lists, it is essential to make one important distinction: There are really no outside influences, either good or bad, that have power over us, except the power we give it.

Of course, this is not to say that all the happenstances of this world are figments of our imagination. They are realities, neither created nor caused by us, yet like magnets, we place ourselves in their influence, attracting or repelling our success based on where we place our attention and focus. We choose where we look, and this determines what we see.

You do not instigate the unwanted situations in your life, but your continuous focus on the unwanted determines where you land. When you persistently focus on what you fear most, you draw it to you, and it must soon come into your world. That is the way it works without exception. So, why don't we focus on the best, brightest, and most fun all the time? That would work, except that, as humans, we have a really hard time doing that.

Humans have a built-in tendency to focus on the worst-case scenario. It has something to do with our survival instinct that keeps us focusing on the areas of greatest potential danger. A long time ago, this was necessary to help us survive as a species, and now it's so deeply ingrained that we cannot help it. Humans focus two and a half times more often on the negative than on the positive. Since our focus determines what we attract, the instinct that initially helped us survive as a species may very well also be the cause of its destruction. Our instinctive negative focus brings about the increasingly worsening conditions, which I believe are reflected in the world's political climate.

This increasingly negative focus, embedded in the very fibers of our being, is changing our hormones and our biochemical environment. Hence, we are seeing an increase in depression, anxiety, and even suicide rates. We are slowly losing the ability to see anything positive among so much seeming harm, and this very focus robs us of our health, our wealth, and our happiness.

It seems that living an extraordinary life under such circumstances is an impossible task that would require a monumental restructuring not of just ourselves but the entire world around us. That is until we remember that there is no outside influence that has power over us except the power we give it! After all, it was merely our attention to the unwanted that gave rise to our current predicament. Therefore, as simplistic as it may appear, the only thing that's needed to turn it all around is a simple shift in focus and energy.

Tony Robbins says that there are three things we can do immediately that, in concert, will shift our energetic state and, which, in turn, can change our entire experience of the world.


Change Your Physiology

To shake yourself out of the doldrums, engage your body and literally shake up the energy. Stand up and breathe deeply and take on the hero’s pose – legs shoulder-wide apart, hands on your hips, chest out, and head up. Science has shown that holding this body posture for as little as two minutes noticeably changes your emotions and increases your confidence level. You can also turn on your favorite music and dance – anything to create new energy. Whether it’s techno or classical, move your body to a rhythm that resonates with you.

Change Your Focus

Become aware of where you are placing your attention. Ask yourself if this is all there is to focus on or if there could be better things. You can always focus on what’s bad. What’s wrong is always available, but so is what’s right. Where focus goes, energy flows. It does take a concerted effort to override our habitual, instinctive patterning, but it doesn’t have to be drudgery. In fact, it must be fun in order for it to be effective. Remember, the point is to feel better, not worse. So, make it a point to get out in nature and focus on the beauty that is all around. Do things that make you happy, even if it is watching a puppy video on YouTube. This is not wasted time; it is an investment in your future happiness. There is so much that is right and good in this world; if you want to experience it, you must make the effort to see it.

Change your Language and Meaning

Your experience is not only determined by your focus but also by the words you use to describe it. Words form the meaning you assign to your circumstances. Whether you see the glass half full or half empty makes all the difference in the world. It is particularly true for the words you use to describe yourself and others. You simply can’t talk badly about yourself or others and expect to feel good. Ask yourself if that habitual throw-away statement or your well-practiced sarcasm is really worth your ultimate happiness. Your wording has a powerful cascade effect: It shapes the meaning you assign to things. The meaning, in turn, conjures your emotions, and the quality of your emotions creates the quality of your life. Watch what you say – your happiness literally depends on it!


Remember, it is always you who is in control. Nothing has any power over you except the power that you give it. There are neither positive nor negative forces that have power over you. There is no evil that can jump out at you, even though it can sure seem that way. Equally, there are no heavenly forces that will come to save you if you don't allow it. Nobody can take anything from you unless you let them. Neither can anyone give you anything that you won’t accept. Your success or failure in living an extraordinary life is determined entirely by where you place your focus, which either attracts you to or keeps you from your success. Remember that no matter how impossible your situation may seem, you always have the ability to change your energetic state and, thereby, change your outcomes.

You are already living an extraordinary life because life is an extraordinary gift. And isn't it extraordinary that you have complete freedom to choose what you want? So, choose love, choose well-being, choose beauty, abundance, and creativity. You get what you give, so be kinder and give more freely, simply because it feels so darn good! Never worry - there is more than enough of every good thing to go around if you only choose to see it – because that’s how the world works.

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